Discovering Oneself through Hatha Yoga

Or, as in my case, Re-discovering myself.

I can't get over the fact that it's already July. Mid-summer, and yes, I'm still relaxing. Or learning how to do this. The rediscovering part came a few weeks ago. I don't remember exactly what brought it all on, but I opened up an old notebook, which I put together in 1992, with a variety of things, including Rune study, my thoughts on religion--Christian, Native American and pagan. Also I've written down dreams and a few metaphysical events.

Somehow this, and the show "Kung Fu" all led me to Yoga. That and I'd been suffering back pain and stiffness. I'd lost elasticity of my youth, and I really hated this. More to the point, my whole left side hurt, and was stiff, and working or even walking was difficult. I have scoliosis, and so there's little I can do, except keep excess weight off, and doing stretches. But I needed to know how to do these correctly, and thought of yoga. Thus, I thought of this book:

Yoga, youth, and reincarnation

by Jess Stearn 1965

It's an old book, but the instructions are good, and there are figures to show how to do the stances. Jess Stearn, the man who wrote it, lived in the yoga instructor's house with her family in Concord. Middle aged, and somewhat dubious about the claims of yoga, he wanted to write a book on the subject, and wasn't sure what he was getting himself into. What better way than to live in an ashram? It's an interesting read, and since I have not opened it since I'd bought it--and that was so long ago I still had my maiden name scribbled inside, it might be 30+ years ago since I'd purchased it. I surely don't remember too much of the contents, because some of it really caught me by surprise. Did you know that Alcot, Thoreau and Emerson studied the far eastern practice of meditation and Yoga? Thoreau made the trip to Walden Pond--the poem he is so famous for, among other things--as a "pilgrimage".

Well, I didn't get into this for history lessons, but the read was good in these first chapters. And, so, returning to the other more important things about Yoga, it's true that the stretches are very tranquilizing. And, it is said after a time of practicing, you become ageless. A neck roll I'm doing should get rid of the rings (wrinkles) around my neck. We'll see. I've only just begun them, and they do relieve the neck tension.

There's also one thing to do for sinuses. Lie out flat on your bed, on your back, and head over the side of it, and gradually lower your head to the floor--possibly with someone holding you so you don't fall. I haven't tried this one, for that one reason.

But one for the spine was simple and I could hear it pop as I did this. I call it the Rocker, and I do it after the head rolls, and some other stretches. Lie on your back, pull knees up to chest, clasp hands under knees, or around them, and gently rock back and forth. I think this one helped a lot.

One thing that I like about Hatha Yoga is there is never any hurry, nor do you force anything. It would seem that a person who does calisthenics would be able to do these things no problem, but the author of this book--who went to the gym regularly--noted that many of the stances were difficult, and to hold them very long took practice.

Also, there are claims that certain ailments can be righted by the practicing of Yoga. Some people claim to hardly ever be sick. Eventually you have greater control of specific parts of your body, and you learn how to breath. Yes. We breath wrong! We breath shallowly, and we never really get enough oxygen to the brain. I've begun extending my stomach when I breath in, and tighten it as I breath out. I'm trying to understand when to breath in or out during these exercises.

The simple ones are the ones I'm on, but I do some form of others. Standing on one leg to do the Tree Pose is harder than you think and will take practice. Try closing your eyes and doing this. Yeah. Right. I can't even do this for more than two seconds. But I try it every time to get the hang of it. I'll eventually do it. The whole thing about yoga is you act deliberately and with control.

The child's pose is simple. When I do this one, I can feel the spine move. Especially the first time. It's a very relaxing pose and I leave myself in this position for ten or more seconds.

Other stretches are the side ones, like this:

And then you do the forward and backward fold. Always doing the opposite bends to relieve the pressure.

Then, while I'm already into position I go into what's known as "Dog-Down":

Then, I like to get down on my knees and do the "Cat-Cow"... only I don't moo or meow.

Now, you can do a number of other poses, like the Upward facing Dog...

This next one I can do, but it took me two weeks to get it down. I remember doing this one easily, back when I was much younger. I know, it looks confusing, but it stretches the spine nicely. You do one side and then the other side.

Well, I'll leave you now with this quote from the above book: "...with self-knowledge comes an awakening, as to both our limits and our potentials. You must know where you are, before you know where you are going."

As for me, I think I'll brave the mosquitoes and heat/humidity and go for a walk in our park. Here's hoping you are having a great day!

Contemplation, Reflection, Relaxation

"I seek not to know the answers, but to understand the questions." - Kwai Chang Caine

There's been a desire in me to find quiet, peaceful moments, and it's been difficult. Thing is, I've tried to fill my off-days with work. I've worked outside, and then inside. Housework never seems to end. But then, this is a big farm house. There's 5 rooms on the second floor--which we don't really use, but I hope to make them usable more than as a place to store things. We have a fix-it guy coming today to look at things that need fixing. This house doesn't belong to us, so we don't have to foot the bill, but we've had to wait for this time when we could ask for things, and a "real" fix-it man could come in and do all this stuff.

I needed to "fix" myself. It's more a part of my age, more than anything. I've had to slow down. Not do so much in one day that I'm exhausted, aching and in bad mood. My husband has had to tell me repeatedly to not do so much. Well, I finally took his advice.

I've been struggling with my writing. Have been looking for something else, something more to keep my mind busy, but I'm finding that wasn't the reason for my unrest. Mentally, I need to be active. But I also need to be physically active too. I dislike my job because I sit behind a wheel for however many hours I need to (that's only one reason I hate it, I have many reasons). I'm hoping to retire from that job, next year about this time. 

That's a long way off, in my mind.

But I was seeing that I needed to calm my inner soul. Find myself again. I know who I am. My husband knows me better than anyone. But you seem to loose yourself somewhere along the way, the you that mattered, the you, deep inside. The one who could adjust to difficulties... and to be able to smile about something pleasant.

How it came about for me to "rediscover" myself came about in an indirect way.

I've been able to watch TV shows from the past, like "Murder, She Wrote", and it sort of pacified me... for a time. I think of Jessica Fletcher like a favorite aunt. I just wish she'd give my name to her publisher and agent. Ah, well...

I've also been able to watch "Kung Fu", a martial arts western drama, which aired in 1972  - 1974, with movies and such in 1986 and 1987.David Carradine played Kwai Chang Caine, a Shaolin monk/priest who had deep spiritual training, as well as martial arts. One thing I liked about his character, he wouldn't fight unless there was no other choice. 

Master Kan:  Avoid, rather than check. Check, rather than hurt. Hurt, rather than maim. Maim, rather than kill. For all life is precious, nor can any be replaced.

I remember the shows as I watch them now, more so than the MSW shows, which aired in the 90's. "Kung Fu" aired around the time I had graduated from high school and I totally got the philosophical teachings which came as memories to the adult Caine during whatever moment he is in.

Master Po: Close your eyes. What do you hear?
Young Caine: I hear the water, I hear the birds.
Po: Do you hear your own heartbeat?
Caine: No.
Po: Do you hear the grasshopper which is at your feet?
Caine: Old man, how is it that you hear these things?
Po: Young man, how is it that you do not?

Since being able to watch the shows, I've been finding more peace with myself. It was a peace similar to what I knew back when I was much younger. Things, like my philosophy, is coming back to me, the things I believe in, and, like a graceful Kung Fu move I avoid the negative. 

I have finally been able to relax. Take life slower. I've also been able to go back to working on my writing. I'm not sure how one thing leads to another. But oddly, or not so odd, I've been working on the oldest manuscript I've kept over the years, originally named "Vampire Legacy". It has had many revisions since the 1982 writing of it. Last year (spring, I think) I revived it, pulled the bin out--there's at least a thousand printed pages, or more, different versions, and many scenes that had to be cut out. I worked on that up into November. I haven't touched it since--gave it time to ferment. It doesn't have an ending on it as yet, but it will. 

Upon going through it this first time, I see I've made it seamless, which is a marvel in itself. The work is rewarding in itself, now that I see what I've done with it.

Going back in time, listening to old music we haven't heard in a long time (we made cassette tapes of our favorites, back when we first met, of John Denver, Neil Diamond, etc.), and that pulled some wonderful memories up too.

Is it good to retrieve your memories? Look into your past and try to regain that youth, ponder the mistakes but say to yourself, "I've learned so much"?

I leave you with one more quote from "Kung Fu"...

Caine: Is it good to seek the past, Master Po? Does it not rob the present?

Master Po: If a man dwells on the past, then he robs the present. But if a man ignores the past, he may rob the future. The seeds of our destiny are nurtured by the roots of our past.

You Never Know Where You'll Meet Them

I picked up a middle-aged woman at a stop next to Ben Gordon's Center. This is a place where a lot of people get off and walk to whatever destination. Or, they go to the center, or have come from it. Anyway, she paid her dollar, and sat and I dropped off the last of my riders.

During the ride she makes a phone call. Now, I don't like to eavesdrop, but you make a call in a public place, and I'm sorry, but I'm right there, so if I hear some juicy, personal stuff, that's their problem. She was talking to someone about her ex's stuff, saying she didn't know who she should contact, but knew she couldn't do anything with his stuff, and that he was in jail and couldn't come and get it himself.

Huh.

So, I drive along, thinking about my bathroom break at Target during her one-sided conversation on this. She eventually gets her answer, and I pull up next to the shopping center. I'm getting out. She asks how long I'll be. I said five minutes. She asks if she can smoke (I feel sorry for her lungs). Sure, just don't smoke next to my door, I say. She won't. So, we both get off and do our thing.

I come back we get back on the bus, and I drive slowly away, and through the parking area.

"Do you like your job?" she asks.

Now, this is a loaded question.

"No. I hate it," I say. "But it allows me to do other things." I then fill in the blanks that I've worked for this company for 15 plus years and have seen only about $2.00 in raises since. I inform her I don't get paid through NIU, but through a company which owns us. No benefits, and  lousy pay for transit driver.

As I drive past the closed up Barnes & Nobel, she made comment she didn't know it was closed. Wow, you don't get out much, do you? I think to myself.

She thought it was scary to see a bookstore close. I can't recall my response to that, but I tell her that I think the other stores will stay open (if only so that big names who are published through the trad-publishers could have their books and book signings in them). I told her I meet people all the time who like to hold an actual book to read from. She was one of them, and said she had a box of books. When I found my opening, I told her I was an author.

"Wow," she said. That's when she asked what I wrote.

I looked back at her through my mirror as I came to a slow stop for a light. "The best way to say it is I write vampire books."

"Teenage, or adult?"

"Adult."

"Oh. Good. I can't find anything in adult with vampires," she said. "I'm 41, I don't like reading about teenagers."

We have a conversation in this vein for about five more minutes and I get to another light. I tell her I'll give her a card when she gets off. I pick up a few more people, and we don't speak until she gets to her stop. I've dug out my card--you really need a business card with all the information on it, so that when you meet someone who might be interested can go find you/your books. She saw my name, and miss-pronounced it (usually that's the case). "Oh, sounds like Horlei." EEEW!

"No, it's Lor-e-lie (I do the phonetics for her). You ever hear Styx's song "Lorelei"? I ask.

"No. But I know the group," she says, getting off, and facing me, and looking at my card a couple of times. "I'm going to go home and listen to it. Thanks!"

As I drive away, I feel good that I've connected with a potential reader/fan. You just never know where or when you'll meet them. It's good to be prepared. I've sold books while in my driving capacity--which is difficult, but I do it, and it's fun to have someone ask for an autograph while I'm sitting on the bus. I like to thumb my nose at the camera (bus security) when I do.

Anyway, it's nice to run into people in the street who might just be that next sale.

Have a good Sunday, and week.  Looks like our weather is finally staying warmer than it's been, and very spring-like. So, I'll be outside a lot!

Lorelei Bell author of Sabrina Strong Series

Lainey Quilholt Mysteries

Hello to all of you who stop by here (whether you make a comment or not, that's fine, but I love to hear your thoughts).

Today, I thought I would touch on a new project I'm working on. This is one of those things where, as a writer, you're working on aspects of the possibility of a new novel (or story). I've had this in the back of my mind for a while. It's only begun to take shape.

In fact only today I came up with my MC's last name. I'd already settled on Lainey. But the last name had to sort of be unusual. One that could be memorable. I was reading an article--totally unrelated to anything. I saw the name Leona Spray Quilhot. I liked the last name but as I said it I wanted to put that extra 'l' in it. Thus, Quilholt was what I settled on.

I've got the beginning two pages, which will be worked on, of course. But the gentleman who walks into the store had to grab interest.

I've always wanted to write a mystery. I've been working on studying how they are done. Here's a link on 15 tips for writing a murder mystery by Elizabeth Craig. This has been something I've been working on for a while, so the post is a few years old. But the tips are excellent.

And here is the sub-genres of mysteries. (scroll down to "mysteries", this has all sub-genres, if you want to look into any other genre, like horror, sci-fi, etc.) I had no idea there were so many sub-genres of mysteries, but when you read each one it makes sense. Mine, the Lainey Quilholt Mysteries will be teen or YA.

I'll need to keep notes on a number of things--like suspects (you don't want more than 5, because it's too hard for readers to remember them all), and, of course, Red herrings.

The one thing I haven't settled upon is the murder itself, and the motive. I'm leaning toward jealousy, and the murder of either a wife, or the current husband/lover. That sort of thing. Lainey Quilholt lives in a small river town in Iowa. Why Iowa, I don't know, but at the moment, it's what I'm going with. I want to have it in the Mid-west, but not in Illinois. I actually have a small, river town in mind, but need to do more research--and go and see it and get more detail about the layout and such. 

I've put up a facebook page for this series. There, I'll be posting/have posted pages I've been writing, if you want to take a look. I've just posted the first page of the first chapter there. It's really raw, and will probably, as I said, change with rewrites, but it's at least a start.

Have you been thinking of writing something different, or in a different genre than you normally write? 

And Fade to the Now...

Tah-dah!

As you may have learned, I've signed on with a new publisher, Creativia. And this is the new book cover for the first book of my Sabrina Strong series (previously, "Vampire Ascending"), 

Ascension. 

Beautiful, isn't it? And although I wanted something less seductive, my publisher felt this was A#1. So, I put it up on facebook, to see how other people felt about it. I got a resounding "Wow!". I couldn't argue with those who are my friends, can I?

In my last post here, I delved into my writing past. My trails and missteps, you might say. I've been with Creativia for about two months. The first three books have new covers. I'm waiting on the fourth book's cover to be revealed to me, so you'll know what it will look like as soon as I will.

Meanwhile my other titles are being "brought over into the fold", you might say. They'll still have the same covers and so forth. Like my ever popular

  "Holy Devil" 

As I've said before, I've never wanted to become "Indie". It just seemed to me like too much work doing all the extra little things. My dream was to be a well-read author. I don't know if that will ever be realized. We'll see.

In the meantime, I'm working on the rest of the books--books five through eight, of the Sabrina Strong series. After #8, I want to take a break and work on other fiction that is either begun, or nearly done. 

Here are links to the other three books in Sabrina Strong series:

Oh, and if you do buy from Amazon, I do hope that after you've read it, you'll go back and leave a review, and these links will help with that [smiley face]. Thanks!

Trill

Nocturne

Caprice

(old cover)

Here is link to my other novel, 

Spell of the Black Unicorn

And for those of you who like non-fiction... and love cats, this one might be enjoyable:

The Cat Whisperer

Have you checked it out? I've got a contest for a signed copy of Ascension going on if you live in the US. Please go to Lorelei's Muse to see what you need to do to get in on it!

Thanks for stopping by.

Try. Fail. Try AGAIN. Learn. Repeat

J.B. Fletcher, My Mentor

The show, "Murder, She Wrote" aired in 1984, and I was excited to watch this lady mystery writer as she solved crimes. I especially loved the beginning, as the light, and bouncy tune came on, and we see Jessica at her typewriter tapping away, and in between the scenes of the show. And then she shoves her pages of type manuscript into a leather binder, and closes it with the title of the show...

I'd get a little shiver down my spine, thinking about my own writing, that it might be possible I could be successful, like this fictitious writer in a show was.

There was something about her spirit, and her ability to not bow down to those who would try and poo-poo her thoughts on a case, or when they might be trying to scare her. She didn't flinch. Well, that's not hard to believe, since she was an English teacher. Teaching anything to young students has to have its ups and downs and scary moments.

But what I liked mostly was that she was a writer. It's what I hoped to be. Well, I was already writing, but she was a successful writer. That's what I had wanted to be my entire adult life. Well, being dyslexic didn't help much. If I'd have been a retired English teacher, I don't think it would have taken me a whole lifetime to get there.

Well, now we are in the modern era. But back in the 80's and 90's, I tried to solicit my manuscripts to the correct people, agents, and even publishers. Back in the day, you could actually go straight to the publisher. My mother-in-law had a face-to-face meeting with a publisher in New York. But she didn't pursue it. I never found out the real reason why she didn't, but I could guess.

Anyway, back to me and my dilemma.  I was turned down by everyone. Only a few places here and there, if my writing had just been a little better, maybe...

My only successes came in minor things, like short stories, poems, and a few other things. Nothing earth shattering. And those few writing achievements came with a lot of sweat and tears... and not giving up.

Well, I did quit a few times, and threatened to quit permanently. My husband has been behind me keeping at it all this while. He's the only one who has believed in me all this time.

Back to the story at hand...
When I was turning 50, I knew I just didn't have it in me to try to knock on a few more doors. I won't lie to you that every rejection killed a little bit of me to the point of--well, beyond tears. My husband, God love him, was the only person who kept me at it. He would pick me up with whatever words he told me and I just didn't give up. His mother was a writer too, he knew--sort of--how much it meant to me, and how hard I worked at it.

So, at that age I did what I thought I would never do. I self-published.

Please understand, at this time, it wasn't possible to self-publish the way it's done now. I had to find a "publisher" who would take my money and work the magic and put my manuscript into print. Well, to be honest, I did all the work on getting the formatting correct for them. I was helped through the process. I also submitted a picture for the front cover. It wasn't as expensive as, say, some of the other places. $400. was what I paid to get my book published and out there. I had a couple of very successful book signings--very thrilling, since I never thought I'd see the day to not only be holding a copy of my first ever published book, but to have a book signing.

I made my $400 back and then some with the sales of my book. Yay Me!

Something like this can boost your morale, and of course I had more books in me. I went on and wrote the sequel to "Spell of the Black Unicorn", but I knew that vampires sold. I had something else burning in me and I had to write it. I went on to write (and spent a couple of years working on it, just like the last book), developing what is now the Sabrina Strong series. At first it was going to only be 3 novels. The second book was hard to write. Sequels are a dickens to write. Ask anyone. You have to keep the same momentum, make notes on what happened in the first one so you don't get tripped up in the second one, etc.

Meanwhile, I knew I wasn't going to pay to have this one published. I needed someone who didn't take my money. I found plenty of those, believe me. I had my first chapter on some site, and eventually a small publisher "discovered" me and offered to publish my book "Vampire Ascending". I read the contract, they took no money from me, and suddenly, I had a publisher. This was great! I had a great cover, and they did all the edits. I was ecstatic!

I had another even more successful book signing at the same Borders in DeKalb. 

Borders Book signing

People were walking out with two or three of my books in their arms!

I went on to publish my second book, Vampire's Trill.

I rode this train until the unfortunate demise of Borders. I already knew Barns & Dribble were not going to order my books in for people to come and buy. They were stupid. I could not get it through their thick skulls that my books would sell.
NO. I'm not going to be able to get anyone to go to your stupid store, order and pay for the book prior to the book signing. Who does that???

So, that shortened my little ride on the author train. Then, after my third novel came out--and it was like pulling teeth to get him to get it out (and the edits were horrible!), (he was in the process of putting his own second novel out, so everyone was working on that).
Then, about three months later, he decides he wants out of the publishing business. This was a blessing in disguise, I realize, of course, as I was mortified by the terrible mistakes in the third book--the damned spine had the wrong title on it!

But this forced me to become Indie. Quickly. I didn't like this. I was trying to reintroduce "Spell of the Black Unicorn", working on those edits of that book. Instead, I had to drop everything and get all three of my books out that summer--as ebooks only.

Being Indie was never in the plans. 
I'm not tech savvy. I don't have the money to pay people to do covers, formatting etc, etc. I don't even like putting the book up on Amazon. I hyperventilate waiting to see if the thing takes on my slow modem. I find all that stuff just, like--well, like dusting a shelf. Annoying. I want to do something else.

Like write.

In the four or five years since I began the Sabrina Strong series, I've written nearly 8 novels. Four are published and the fifth one is ready. But there's a pause in the action. Maybe, once again, it's meant to be...

You see, months ago I tried to get someone to do the cover for me. Take pictures of a lone gargoyle... I waited and waited. People are busy, I get that.

Finally, I get two people wanting to help me and get two sets of photos and there's even an offer to do the cover... but that didn't pan out.

Disappointment looms.

So, I'm on the last portion of edits for number five book. I'm trying to get the book cover done, and it's not happening. I was just sick of doing this by myself! What can I do?

I complain a little to my long time friend, and author, Carole Gill. After a few emails back and forth, she told me to look into her publisher. Creativa.

I did.
They sounded good. Great, actually.
I took the plunge and sent them an email. Then with their permission, sent them the file of my first book, as they requested.

It hasn't been quite a week yet, as I write this Friday evening.
I'm not nervous. I don't have any doubts. I'm more confident about the outcome than I've been in years.

I'll let you know. If this happens, there will be new covers.